God leads - step by step

Many of you might be wondering what has become of us. Here are a few lines about the past few weeks. We left Frauchwil at the end of February. Until February 27, we didn't know where our next “interim residence” would be. At the beginning of February, we had visited a property that we thought might be a longer-term solution. However, when we enquired, the real estate agency told us that the person responsible was on vacation. And finally we were told that we couldn't move in there, at least not for the time being.

At short notice, we contacted a family of former fellow students who had once offered us a place to stay if all else failed. And so we are now in the Gantrisch region, beautifully situated, with the Maag family (sonnhalde-gantrisch.ch). We are very grateful to them. We will be moving on again at the beginning of May. They are expecting guests in May, and their guest rooms are generally better booked in summer. That's a good thing, as the low ceiling height affects Chris-toph's posture.

Our boys get on very well with Maag's children. They spend a lot of time together in the forest, playing soccer or doing other activities. It really is a place with a breathtaking panorama, surrounded by meadows and forests. Christoph is happy that he can use a workshop here and help out here and there on the small farm. Marlen's cousin lives 3 minutes away by car and so Marlen regularly goes to milk cows with him in the evenings - this is beneficial “work therapy”, especially when you spend several hours a day behind the computer (Marlen notices time and again that all the computer work is rather stressful for her).

And what next?

We looked at other properties/flats. One of them was an apartment that we thought would suit us (surrounded by greenery, garden available, close to the forest, relatively easy to reach, etc.). We agreed a “ think period” with the landlords, after which we would give feedback.

Should this really be our path? Should we give up the dream of farming anywhere, even on the smallest scale, and let go of the desire to be self-employed (at least as a secondary occupation)? What about our heartfelt desire for communal living? Can these things simply not be combined at the moment? Should we choose a completely different life concept? What is God's will and what are our own wishes?

In the end, the landlords declined, saying there were “internal” changes that they would give priority to. So we had a clear answer that this flat was not Gods plan for us. And yet, we still don't know what should come next. We continue to hold on to God and we are convinced that he will do it well. Always! Which does not mean that we understand everything. On the opposite, at times we understand very little and we hardly have any answers to the many questions. Sometimes we are optimistic and sometimes frustration catches up with us. There will be a way when we move on at the beginning of May.

We thank you for all your prayers, encouragement and friendships. They are infinitely precious!

P.S.: The property that we viewed at the beginning of February is still on our minds. We pray that God will show us the way.

Continue to trust

I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them. Isaiah 42,16

This verse has been with us for some time. Very often we feel like “the blind". Even if some things in our everyday lives are known and clear (such as the boys' schooling, Marlen's work at Compassion, etc.), many other things are in the dark. And so we often don't even see what the next step is - like the blind on unknown paths. The only thing we can try to do is to hold on tightly to God's hand and trust HIM to guide us well. And that is what God also does, he leads us and what he does is good, even if God's ways are not always in harmony with our wishes and our feelings. And yet we can say that we always had what we needed. The old farmhouse where we have been living for the last 3 months has been an incredible blessing for us - so much space/rooms to play and spread out (especially in this foggy area where the boys had limited motivation to play outside during the winter).

Over New Year we went to PraiseCamp as a whole family for 6 days. As a family, we were able to stay overnight in the facilities of a free church and found a dog sitter for our Mily - a miracle for us. Even though we could only really participate in a few parts of the PraiseCamp program and the days were really intense (lots of people, lots of noise, etc.), it was an encouraging time. We were able to have many good conversations and simply experiencing the “groove” of 7,000 young people who are looking for Jesus and want to follow him is incredibly inspiring. Our boys had a great time 😊!

Now we are due to move again soon. We have to be away from where we are at the moment by the end of February (the seasonal workers are coming back). This means that we have to pack up our belongings again and move to a new place. We don't know where that will be at the moment. We do have a few emergency solutions - we certainly won't end up on the street - but a long-term solution, or at least a medium-term one, is not yet on the horizon. And yes, this situation is not always easy. We actually believe that it would be good for our boys to find a place to live again, to build up friendships and maintain a certain stability. We keep praying that God will preserve the hearts of our boys and give us the wisdom to guide them properly. They miss the farm and the surroundings of the estate, forest, streams and mountains. And we “grown-ups” also wished for a place where we could “invest” ourselves again, where we could not just set ourselves up provisionally and where we could plant a garden again. Thank you for praying with us that we will have the patience to continue waiting on God and that we will make the right decisions and not do things that are not in God's way out of “ closure panic”.

A little side note: is it so difficult to find something suitable?

We are often asked whether it is so difficult to find a place to stay. We'd like to briefly explain why it's not quite so easy for us.

Of course Christoph could look for part-time work in construction in addition to Marlen's job and we could rent a cheap block apartment somewhere.

Here is an explanation of why we believe that this is not our way: We have the desire/vision in our hearts to find a place where we can combine “being on the move with people” and farming (more as a side business) again. We dream of a place of community where we can also share our passion for sustainable agriculture. We actually believe that this dream is not just an idea of ours, but really a matter that God has placed on our hearts.

There is also the fact that we simply cannot imagine our boys feeling at home in a block apartment in the center of a village.

We have also looked around for medium-term interim solutions, for living space in the countryside and enough space (e.g. an old farmhouse in a decentralized location but still in an area where we wouldn't have to live as hermits). We have not yet found such a place. Very often these “old farmhouses” have been renovated, very chic indeed, but mostly in such a way that they neither fit our budget nor our lifestyle.

A short update

Thank you for all your encouragement and support!

Lots of gratitude and a few question marks

A look back at the last three months

We have been in Aarberg at the Eichhof (a farm) since the end of July - the ideal place to spend the summer. Especially because of the large irrigation pond, which serves as a large pool and has so often provided the much-desired cooling on the hot days. Our boys really enjoyed it. The “flatland” was also recognized as a brilliant thing, in the mountains (especially on the slopes), you can simply cycle and “trottinetlä” much worse. We are extremely grateful to the Brunner family for allowing us to be here.

The new school year has also started and this time it is Christoph who is the “main teacher” as Marlen is either working for Compassion or putting time into her internship (when it's not raining). We've also already had a visit from the academic assistant from the Seeland school inspectorate - a very positive experience 😊.
We benefit from the time with the reduced workload - life without a farm is actually much “less busy”. We haven't had this much time for trips, expeditions and activities with the boys for a long time and that's wonderful! And yet we miss the work on the farm, the independence and also the self-sufficiency more and more. But what we miss most is the opportunity to live hospitality: Hosting people, sharing meals with them, integrating them into our everyday working life and simply living community. And to do this while sharing our faith in one way or another.

What's next?

Do you know what trail signs are? They are symbols that are laid out by someone so that the next person/group can find the way. We often played this “game” in the christian scout group when I (Marlen) was still a participant. It was easy and perhaps almost too boring if you just had to follow the arrows and then you soon reached your destination. However, it became tedious when too few signs were placed or there were so many crossroads that you had to keep trying both ways and ended up standing in front of a “cross”. Sometimes you couldn't find the signs or they were destroyed by other pedestrians or animals - then you often walked along a path without knowing whether you were on the right track. So sometimes the question arose as to whether you should go back along the path to the last sign to check again whether you had somehow missed something. It's similar for us at the moment, we keep picking up “tracks” only to either come to a “cross” or we can no longer find any clues to show us that we are on the right path. The question then arises, do we just keep going in the hope that at some point we will find another sign that confirms that we are on the right path? Or do we turn around, go back to the last point and try to find out whether we should take a different path after all?

Actually, we should have something new by the end of October: firstly, it's getting cooler and cooler and sleeping in the tent is getting uncomfortable. We still have the “party room” in the barn on the farm here. But the space is limited, especially now that we have taken out the warm clothes (we have hardly any storage space here) and the boys often play inside when it rains outside. Secondly, we would officially have to register with the local authority after three months, but as we don't have an apartment here, this is not legally possible.

The children also keep saying that they really want a “real” home again. We were actually hoping for a long-term solution for the winter - moving somewhere and then pulling up stakes again in a few months or a few years is not really what we want (especially because of the boys). But at least at the moment, there is nothing on the horizon that we think is the place where we want to/can live in the long term. At the moment we are a bit at a loss, but believe that God has the right place for us, whether for the long or short term. Thank you, for praying with us that we will get clarity on which path to take.

A trip to Togo for Marlen

On Thursday, October 17, Marlen is flying to Togo for a week. She will be accompanying a Compassion trip there. She is really looking forward to the time, although this trip will probably be different to what she has experienced on previous trips to Africa. We will be staying in a “more-better” hotel (which is not “easy” for Marlen), but that certainly makes sense, considering that we don't want to have to deal with problems caused by poor hygiene conditions and it's not about the participants experiencing the challenges of life in Africa first-hand, but that we can take them with us into the projects and work of Compassion and that they can see with their own eyes what impact Compassion's programs have. In addition, Marlen will have the opportunity to meet her sponsored child Pascaline (19) in person, which will certainly be one of the highlights of this trip. Thank you, for praying for protection and a successful trip!

We wish you a pleasant fall, hopefully with a little more sunshine! Thank you for being on the journey with us!

News from our new life

We are doing well! It has already been a while since we started into our adventure. It's time to look back on the last few weeks.

Oh and by the way, Mily, our dog, is doing well. But she didn't stay on the alp for long, when she should have stayed until the end of summer. After two days we had to pick her up again, she was completely confused and couldn't adapt at all. In the end, we decided to take her with us to Valais. Thank God, everything went really well. She gets on well with the two other dogs who live there and has adapted very well to this new place. So well, in fact, that we have now left her alone in Valais for five days and are making ourselves comfortable in a friend's apartment in Emmental.

Over the next few days, we want to consciously take time to pray for our future, listen to God and simply have some time to ourselves. Apart from a vague vision, we have nothing concrete to guide us in our long-term plans for the future. Neither people with whom we can build a communal life, nor a place, a farm or a house that we believe could be the right place for the future. Not to mention the finances that such a new project would entail.

We keep realizing that we are in a difficult phase of life, where we keep realizing what it means to have a home, to be rooted and to belong somewhere. Each individual in our family perceives it differently and deals with the situation differently. With the boys, we notice that they are more oriented towards us than usual and that we as parents are their only “place of safety”. This is actually understandable and yet there have already been two or three situations where there have been tears because we as parents have not accompanied our children “enough”. Sometimes there are also tears because the old home is simply missed. And yet we realize that it doesn't make sense for us to settle down somewhere at random, simply so that we have our own four walls! At the same time, we are very grateful for this school of life and firmly believe that God is doing it well. It is so good to know that HE is sufficient and that HE has a good plan, even if it ultimately looks very different from what we imagine at the moment. God has always been faithful in our lives, HE is faithful now and HE will be faithful in the future!

At the end of the week, we will return to Valais for another three nights. After that, we will go to the Bernese Seeland, where we can live with friends on their farm. We'll be sleeping in the tent, but we'll have more space and can even claim certain rooms in the barn for ourselves and spread out a bit. Maybe there will even be space where we can put a wardrobe so that we don't always have to live out of our clothes boxes, but can actually establish a certain order again. We are very grateful for that.
We will certainly be working there too, Marlen as part of a pre-study internship - perhaps she will then start studying (part-time) in agronomy at FH in a year's time - but we don't want to be too set in our ways at the moment.

It's getting tangible

Some questions

It's time for an update. We keep getting all kinds of questions and we want to answer a few of them:

How are you doing?
On the whole, we're doing very well!
At the moment, the balancing act between "packing boxes" and still being "fully involved on the farm" is a little challenging. Sometimes it's also difficult to comprehend that we'll be away from here in less than two months. We are still living firmly in the "here and now". When the apartment will be empty and we will close the door behind us for the last time, saying goodbye to the animals and all the experiences, we will certainly feel melancholy and a few tears will flow.
We truly believe that there is a place somewhere where we belong. During this process, we have also repeatedly realized that this conflict (which was there, but never really came to the table until now) has also robbed us of a lot of energy and perhaps also partly prevented us from really living in what we believe is our calling.

Are you moving abroad now?
First of all: At the moment, we firmly expect to stay in Switzerland. We have thought about whether we should look beyond Switzerland's borders, but at the moment we really feel that we should stay in Switzerland. A door has opened for Marlen: in future, she will be working 50% for Compassion (compassion.ch). She is very much looking forward to this job. Her task is to sensitize Christian churches and groups to the topic of poverty and justice and to present the work of Compassion in this context. She will also focus on youth groups and family services.

Do you already know what's next?

Big changes in sight

We have now lived and worked at the Fänglihof in Zweisimmen for more than seven years. This period of our live is coming to an end and we will be leaving our home on July 1st.

We have run the farm together with Christoph's brother Thomas and his wife Nadine. Unfortunately, we saw many things differently in terms of management, structure and vision. Last December, we took up coaching and in the end we realized that the situation - at least on an emotional level - was more messed up than we thought. What had been brewing under the surface for a long time came to the surface. And at some point in the new year, it became clear that it wasn't possible to find a common path. One family would continue to run the farm alone.

At first, we couldn't imagine leaving this place at all. After all, it was our home, a place where many people found a temporary home, where we had built up a lot, dreamed and had many visions for. But the more we prayed about the situation, the more we realized that we should leave the decision to Thomas and Nadine. If they wanted to continue running the farm, we would leave - if they wanted to reorient themselves, we would continue here. At the beginning of April, Thomas and Nadine's decision was final: they wanted to take over the farm. And we will set out to find out what our path is. As Thomas is going to restructure the farm quite a bit and the farm's finances are tight, it hardly makes sense to stay here for much longer.

So we have less than three months to decide where and how to continue. At the moment, we are assuming that we will leave the Simmental. In this process of change, we are relying on a lot of miracles, including God clearly showing us what the right steps are. And we are praying that our boys' hearts will be well on this journey, that a healthy farewell process can take place and that we as parents can accompany them properly.

Yes, and in some way we have to get our farm household from A to B, or at least store it somewhere temporarily. I (Marlen) would be lying if I said that I didn't respect this undertaking...

Now we are reaching out for something new. Here you can read more about the things that are central to our lives and what our hearts beat for. If you have an idea of a job, a place to live, a task where we might fit in, we are open to hearing about it - even the unconventional!

And last but not least, we pray that when we leave here, there will be enough distance between us and Thomas & Nadine to allow true reconciliation to happen.